I remember the night well. It was June 27th, 2005. Lexi was bringing me to a party, but I didn’t truly realize what we were doing. It was a house rave and we were doing plenty of ‘E’. We used our allowance to buy it. Lexi taught me how to crush it up on a mirror, take a straw, and snort it, because it was decided then that that was the fastest way to get high.
Crazy tracers, man!
We were at a house rave. There were a bunch of our friends their, however one girl in specific named Lita was there, who made me feel like I was the only girl in the world. We had to go over to Mcdonalds or something, and while we were walking over there, she was yelling at all the passersby to not look at her sexy lady, aka me. She made me feel so awesome, and I really liked her! We danced together, we talked a lot.. And then I walked into the kitchen, and caught her making out with my cousin and I freaked.
What I walked in on…
I slowly backed away so they didn’t see me, and I went out into the hallway. I sat down, and just focused on gathering energy, something I learned how to do out of a book ha. Just sat, and focused. However, everyone started freaking out, wondering where I was, and when they finally found me, they were convinced I was tripping balls and they had to get me to come down.
Now, I do not recall being completely fucked up. Like yes, I was on drugs, however I wasn’t freaking out. Yet I found myself stripped to my underwear, and pulled into a cold shower to ‘bring me down’. Don’t get me wrong, I had a good time that night, despite the fact that the girl I liked started making out with my cousin. They started dating after that night as well, but it didn’t last long. I remember in the morning, we all left around 8 AM, and we got to the transit station, and to keep everyone together, one of the flamboyantly gay guys held up some glow sticks and ‘E trippers and gay ones, this way!’. It was very amusing. I also remember curling up on my cousins lap on the bus on the way home, and then sucking on a pacifier for the rest of the day, while holding a yard sale at my aunts house.
This would be me all day
After that night, we were doing drugs all the time. It started with mostly E, but we tried heavier things. We never got addicted per se, we were just a bunch of kids having a good time. The next weekend, we actually went to an event that was dubbed ‘Gay Prom’. Uncle Antonio took us girls out, we bought pretty dresses, shoes and whatnot to go to this thing. We went with all of our friends, or Lexis friends really. Now I was a shy girl, still kinda em, however I have gotten a lot better with talking to random people. I ended up sitting on the stairs outside of the prom, by myself, holding a singular red rose, as my cousins friend had bought one for all of us. There was a group of people who kept passing me, two guys and a girl, and finally they stopped and asked if I was OK. I explained to them I was just too shy to go in, however they had thought I was stood up. So they got me to go with them, running about the grounds.
Aww, ain’t they cute?
It was a little difficult running across grass in heels but I did it, and I had a lot of fun. The girls parents had arrived to take her home, and she turned around and grabbed me and kissed me. I was so shocked, but so happy! I had expected the night to be horrible, and it ended up being great. I also met a girl named Shayla, who went to YouthQuest, a place for teens who are any sexual orientation to go and feel safe. She led me down a completely different path, and introduced me to whole wackload of new people…
A Lesser Person 