Worthless

Last night was one of my room mates birthday party. We had plenty of people over and it was good times or so I thought. My room mate helped me get to my room and change because I was especially drunk and we were wearing costumes. After he helped me and left, I got sick, felt better, and went back to the party just sticking to kool aid. Turns out I shouldn’t of! My female room mate decided to tell me how ‘awkward’ I’m making everything, by being too drunk that I needed help, for certain guests (my room mate who helped me change is not only my ex, but another guests ex as well, and she happens to hate my guts as the cherry on top) my presence was simply uncomfortable, as well as I talked shit about my other ex on a very bad night (we were friends until he called me a bitch and told me to get lost) to one of his friends, and one of their mutual friends was there, and because of what I said over 6 months ago, it was totally making him uncomfortable. So I was the problem with the party last night according to her, cause there’s always one person at every party who you just wish would be gone already. Thanks for the kind words, they lift me up so much, especially coming from someone who is supposed to be a best friend (hello, we live together). They make me feel absolutely worthless. I don’t understand how someone can be so mean to someone, regardless of how they know them. I mean, I can’t even stand up for myself, cause no matter what, she’s right, no one else is allowed to be. Don’t know how much longer I can take it, I want out of here, but I’ve wanted out of here for a while…